Twyfelfontein, Cash Only

A UNESCO World Heritage site, 250 million year old petrified trees, and not a card machine within 100km. A dispatch from Damaraland on running out of cash, living on pasta permutations, and the fine art of acquiring ice in the Namibian wilderness.

We have arrived at Aabadi Mountain Camp in Twyfelfontein, and I am struck by the t-shirt that the fifteen year old girl is wearing. It reads: 'Nah! - Rosa Parks'. She bought it in a shop in town, she says. I ask her if she knows who Rosa Parks was, she shakes her head, and I give her a mini-lesson in History over the next ten minutes. The black text evoking the Civil Rights Movement sits against the backdrop of rock engravings dating back over 5000 years, side by side with lodges charging R70 for a Rock Shandy.

We are back in the heart of Damaraland. After the Dakar Rally driving expedition on Christmas Day and our heartbreaking U-turn on the way to Purros, we found a campsite at Khorawib Lodge. Tracks4Africa gave us great hope: it mentioned ice, and 'BBQ packs'. Translated into home-speak, this feels about as exciting as a free meal at the Test Kitchen on New Year's Eve — highly unlikely, but we remain optimistic.

We have, by now, developed a strategy to maximise our chances of acquiring these scarce resources. This is mainly because we fear that our inadequate and naive supply preparation will be exposed, and people will realise that we are suburban Capetonians in a sea of GP. The fact that I sit on a MacBook drinking filter coffee from my eco-cup every morning, Nick drives a Forester in the land of the Hilux wearing a pink t-shirt and Country Road shorts, and we sleep in a hipster teardrop trailer instead of a Bush Lapa Baobab would never give this away, of course.

The strategy is based on a single mantra: never ask first.

Order an ice-cold Coke and sit at the bar. This usually induces empathy from the person working there, who mentions the heat. It's the perfect opener. While discussing the temperature, mention how tough it is driving very long distances — this avoids the inevitable lull in weather-based conversation and opens an avenue to discuss how difficult it is to keep food and drinks cold when you're travelling on a budget. Knowing it's too late to order dinner, ask about 'how arranging a meal' might work. The response will always be: you had to order by 3pm. Turn to each other and mention what a pity it is that the drive was so long.

By this stage, the foundations have been laid. Nick smiles sweetly, shows slight vulnerability: 'um, we saw on your website that you sell BBQ packs — we were wondering if maybe we could buy one or two?' I affirm this as if hearing it for the first time. 'Hmmm, that's a good idea' — then, softly but loudly enough — 'maybe we should get some ice as well, or we won't have anything cold to drink in this heat.' Nick adds: 'and apparently you sell ice as well?'

Thus far: a 60-70% success rate. While Khowarib had no meat packs the night we arrived (pasta and pesto, once again), we spent R150 on ice and left the following morning smiling — two BBQ packs had appeared from the ether, chicken kebabs included, which neatly disproved my theory that Namibian chickens do not have breasts.

And now we are here, in Twyfelfontein — a UNESCO World Heritage site with no card machine in sight. In fact, in about a 100km radius. We have eaten both braai packs in one sitting, our ice has melted, and we have run out of cash. Entry to the world's oldest rock engravings and the 250 million year old petrified trees will set you back R150, in cash. If you're out of cash, there's always Google Images.

Never underestimate the culinary flexibility of a simple dish of pasta and pesto:

• Pasta, sun-dried tomato pesto and garlic flakes
• Pasta, sun-dried tomato pesto and Mozambican spicy sauce (Moz sauce, or Chippie's Prego)
• Pasta, sun-dried tomato pesto and salt and pepper
• Pasta, sun-dried tomato pesto and spicy dry sausage (special occasions only — it was Christmas)

If you find these options monotonous: basil pesto works just as well, though the Mozambican sauce can be overpowering. Try Robertson's chilli flakes instead.

Do not, however, get over-ambitious. Nick's experiment with pasta, sun-dried tomato pesto and mayonnaise did not end well.

I looked on with my conservative salt and pepper and uttered the four-worded demon of a sentence:

I told you so.